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movienut50
Lifetime Member
Joined: 22 Apr 2005
Posts: 137
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 Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:48 pm Post subject: Southern Grandma |
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Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded,
"Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. "Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair." |
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nightowl
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Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 1976
Location: canada
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 5:01 am Post subject: |
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 that was a good one 
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tkboxer
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Joined: 15 May 2005
Posts: 1610
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 8:33 am Post subject: |
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Good one!
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annarere1960
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Joined: 07 May 2005
Posts: 1863
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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rofl 
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phil6580
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Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 1004
Location: Tyneside UK
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| LMFAO. |
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daripper
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Joined: 25 Apr 2005
Posts: 3144
Location: TN. USA
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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LOL!!!! a very good one
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SG1_Fan
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Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 282
Location: United States Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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drastija
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Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 955
Location: Osijek, Croatia
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 12:56 am Post subject: |
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LOL
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arabian_knight
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Joined: 05 May 2005
Posts: 251
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 5:42 am Post subject: |
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sawtooth
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Joined: 27 Apr 2005
Posts: 874
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Really good. |
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herk
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Joined: 22 Apr 2005
Posts: 355
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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| haha. I wonder what is the judge hiding. |
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