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blknight3 Lifetime Member
Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 1254 Location: Canada
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:45 pm Post subject: BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN: |
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BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't' t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
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The Layette :
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and
wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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GRANDCHILDREN:
God's reward for allowing your children to live. _________________ For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble. |
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nightowl Limited Membership
Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 1976 Location: canada
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:37 am Post subject: |
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very good blknight3.....I liked this one and I have forwarded it to my wife I think she will enjoy it too
We are about to start countdown with about 4 weeks to go _________________
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daripper *Resident Artist
Joined: 25 Apr 2005 Posts: 3144 Location: TN. USA
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: |
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LOL!!!!! _________________ Site Moderator
---------------------------------------------------------------------
He who never asks the question will never know the answer.
My name is 0110010001100001011100100110100101110000011100000110010101110010 |
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drastija Exceptional Member
Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 955 Location: Osijek, Croatia
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:00 am Post subject: |
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LOL _________________ "Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been, there you long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci |
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annarere1960 *Member
Joined: 07 May 2005 Posts: 1863 Location: United States
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:23 am Post subject: |
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that was awesome _________________ The heaviest baggage for a traveler is an empty wallet.
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phil6580 Donator
Joined: 04 May 2005 Posts: 1004 Location: Tyneside UK
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:11 am Post subject: |
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Very funny. |
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sawtooth Exceptional Member
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 874 Location: North Carolina
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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I loved that! |
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